so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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