i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
