So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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