At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Houston, we have a blender
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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