soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
