I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
