I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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