Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
