so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
