I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
