He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
