think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
