guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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