man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
