hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize