just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
