isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
