she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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