I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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