I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
