'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
