Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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