You're my little dorito
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
