...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
