do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Less talking, more tequila
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
