i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
