You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
