like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
how drunk are you?
Several
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
