It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
