We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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