You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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