Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
