but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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