When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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