So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize