Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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