you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
