i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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