At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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