I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also, beer. Big fan.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
