u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
