i just had sex bonerless
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
