Cold hands, warm shart.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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