Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
