My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can tuck mytits in my pants
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
