Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
