Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
