goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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