Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
