he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
