Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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