Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
