Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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