Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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