are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
