Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
