can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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