i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
