You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
