yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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