My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
