is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well you can't waste a boner
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
