I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
