Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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