May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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